Iwan Setiawan is the author of the poetry collection Sang Pencari Cinta (The Seeker of Love), as well as Kitab Puisi Melankolia (The Book of Melancholy Poems), co-written with Silvia Ikhsan. In 2017, he received the Littera Magazine Literary Award.
THE PRAYER THAT EATS ITS OWN SHADOW
I walk into God
like a wound forgetting its blood
the night teaches me a new alphabet
where silence is the only vowel
my name rots gently in Your mouth
I do not resist
I become the hunger You never confess
angels turn their faces away
not from sin
but from how deeply I kneel
faith is an animal
licking its own shadow
until darkness says amen
West sumatera, 2026
LESSON FROM A DEAD SAINT
the saint died
still holding Your silence
between his ribs
they said he was holy
but holiness is only
how long one survives without answers
I pressed my ear to his chest
heard worms chanting
the most honest prayer
teach me this decay
teach me to disappear
without leaving heaven homeless
West sumatera, 2026
GOD WRITES ME AS A MISTAKE
You write my life
with a trembling hand
ink made of doubt
every breath crosses out
the sentence before it
I am revised by suffering
do not correct me
let me remain wrong
inside Your book
because even errors
are a way
of being remembered
West sumatera, 2026
THE MIRROR WHERE GOD REFUSES TO APPEAR
I break every mirror
yet You remain
breathing behind my eyes
the heart is a ruined mosque
no door
no direction
only dust reciting dust
I pray with borrowed bones
my soul trembling
like a candle afraid of light
if You are not here
why does absence bleed
why does nothing
know my name
West sumatera, 2026
THE BODY THAT FORGOT HOW TO BELIEVE
My body kneels
Before my faith understands why
Bones argue with prayer
Blood hesitates at the word God
I fast from certainty
Drink only doubt
Until hunger becomes a teacher
Inside my chest
A ruined altar breathes
Asking nothing
Yet taking everything
If belief returns
Let it come wounded
Let it limp
So I know it is real
West sumatera, 2026
I TRIED TO LEAVE GOD UNFINISHED
I tried to leave You unfinished
Like a sentence without mercy
But every silence chased me
Wearing Your face
I hid inside sleep
Inside flesh
Inside the future
Yet You kept happening
Now I sit among the ruins
Holding what is left of my name
If this is union
Let it hurt
If this is loss
Let it be Yours
West sumatera, 2026
