This is a book of Merritt’s poems with Ron’s suggested modifications to the side. Although there are a few word changes, most changes are in line breaks and spacing to make the poems breathe and jump off the page. Merritt’s poems are well-written, philosophical and speak through a veil to current events and life in general. The book shows that Merritt needed little help but it is also a book about a mentor and mentee, sharing and friendship and mutual respect. Below is an example.
Merritt’s poem:
Similar to fireflies swarming night fields
Under the yellow moon light
My mind drifts like an echo toward
The inevitable rverb of birth
Tremoring under the weight of our
Selves suffocating, gasping reaching
The bend in the river breaks all
Idea of safety and then there's
Language or grenades stashed some
Where deep in the secret reality of
Our fears that go bang
And we drown forever trying to swim
Back against the current
Ron’s suggestions:
Fireflies swarming summer night fields
under the smiling yellow moon
My mind, a drifting echo,
the reverb of birth
tremoring under the weight of our
multi-colored gasping selves
Reaching the bend in the river
all notions of safety are lost
Language grenades stashed
deep in the secret of
our fears explode
and we drown
trying to swim
against the current
The added spacing does help in a cosmetic sense and for emphasizing the lines. Makes me want to re-think the spacing in my own poems.
The book is published by Cajun Mutt Press and will be available soon on Amazon.
No comments:
Post a Comment